High Velocity Bird Poop
by X88B8
Summary: A well... interesting story on a seagull and a certain smasher '-' One-shot. Enjoy!


**=High Velocity Bird Poop=**

A lone seagull circled the famous Smash Mansion. It was dark outside. The sliver of the moon barely showed behind a bank of dark clouds, which, thankfully, were blowing away from the mansion. The seagull cocked its head, at a sudden noise below. The Smash Mansion was next to a small stream, a large grass field, and the dark, still, woods. A lone figure stealthily made its way to the forest,making no noise, as it ducked into the forest. The seagull perched on the roof of the mansion, and turned its attention to the stars. They slowly moved around the sky, in an endless cycle. Back and forth, back and forth.

An owl's hoot snapped the seagull back to reality. It looked around warily, before spreading its wings wide. It beat them hard, and felt itself lifting into the air. How good it was to fly! So free... so weightless.

 _Snap! Crack!_

The figure had returned from the forest.

It was holding an strange, dirty, yellow object in its hands, and a large bag. To anyone, the object looked, and smelled unappetizing. But to seagulls, it looked absolutely _delicious._ The seagull swooped downwards, as the object's amazing aroma filled its nostrils. The seagull dove atThe object, lacking the self-restraint to care that the person who was holding it was human. A kid, to be exact. The figure cursed, as it stumbled out of the seagull's reach, clutching the precious bait close.

But the bird would not be deterred, wheeling about to try again.

The figure ducked into the mansion, and closed the door, leaving the seagull as it hit the closed door with a resounding smack! And slid down.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 _This'll be the best prank ever!_ thought a certain cartoony swordsman. Toon Link ( aka Toon) strolled cheerfully through the hallways of the Smash Mansion, nodding respectfully at other Smashers, and clutching a pig themed knapsack close. His bait bag.

Soon, he was out of the mansion, breathing i the fresh air, the Hylian turned to the woods happily. Suddenly, a thought struck him. Perhaps the woods were too dangerous for him. Turning away from the forest, a large rock caught his eye. It was a bit taller than him, but a lot wider. It was just past the bubbly stream. _Perfect!_ he thought, with an evil grin.

The boy hopped over the stream easily, and went behind the rock.

Toon Link reached into his bait bag, and produced a small, yellow fruit; a pear to be exact. It had been carved. It had two dark, hollow "eyes" and a wide "mouth". It was covered all over in dirty smudges. A Hyoi pear. The Hylian had recently received a large shipment of them from Beedle, and his Shop Ship.

Suddenly, a seagull landed in front of the swordsman. It squawked, and took a step forwards, its eyes fixed on the pear. Toon slowly put the Hyoi pear on his head, and waited.

The seagull squawked again in delight, before lifting into the air, aiming for the pear.

The seagull swallowed the Hyoi pear.

Suddenly, the seagull felt a presence in its mind. The strange presence was somewhat comforting for the seagull, as it seemed harmless. The seagull found itself doing things that it didn't want to. Soaring high, diving low. The strange presence was in control. the seagull didn't really care either.

Suddenly, a person - er... a dinosaur waddled out of the mansion. It was a light green, with a big nose, and large eyes. it had blunt (ish) orange spikes on its back, starting from behind its eyes, and ending at a white-rimmed red shell on its back. It had a white belly, and was wearing clunky orange boots. The dinosaur gave the seagull a wary look, before being called over by a pink-dressed princess with golden hair and bright blue eyes. The seagull felt a single word enter its mind, and it knew what both Smashers were. _Yoshi and Peach._ The presence caused the seagull to flap its wings hard, and it flew directly over the two Smashers. The seagull felt its bowels loosen.

I think you can guess what happened next.

 _Splat!_

* * *

A/N: That's it! To those who don't know, a Hyoi pear is a fruit you can get from Beedle's Shop Ship in Wind Waker. It lets you take control of seagulls, and its pretty fun too! Thanks for reading!

Reviews are greatly appreciated :)


End file.
